Before I Self Destruct
by SamxXxBluePulser
Summary: His dad disowned him and his best friend left him. John is left alone, until one night that is. He's been stabbed and is dying in an alley when a troll named Karkat takes him back to his house, saving John's life. Over the next month, while John stays with him, he falls in love with the troll. But when John's past catches up to him, he's terrified that Karkat will leave. Johnkat.
1. Chapter 1

**So this is an idea I came up with the other day, and as soon as i finished the first chapter I thought I'd post it.**

**Read on~**

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As John lay on the cold pavement in a dark alleyway, he decided he should reflect on his meaningless life before he died. His hand was pressing against the stab wound, trying to stop the gushing blood, but the red liquid continued to leak from in between his fingers.

He first remembered his dad finding out he was a homosexual. To this day, three years later, he could still picture the shock and disgust on his only parent's face. After he was tossed out onto the streets, the first thing he did was go to his best friend's house. When he asked Dave if he could stay with him, John had gotten a firm shake of the head, an apologetic look, and a door slam in the face.

That was the first night he had cried, sitting on a bench in the park during the cold night.

For the next three years, John learned how to survive on the streets. He knew which areas had the toughest gangs and avoided that section of the city; he knew how to make friends who worked at diners, so they would steal some food for him; and he knew where the warmest breezes blew during the night, so he could sleep warmly.

He felt his head spin with dizziness, bringing him back to the moment and the situation he was in. Tears poured down his face as he sniffled. So this was how he was going to die, huh? He was going to bleed to death, as no one realized a broken boy was praying for help. Soft sobs came from his hoarse throat as his shaking hands pressed to the gaping gash in his side. He didn't want to die like this.

White spots danced across his vision, coupled with bursts of hot pain. His eyes fluttered close as he let his tired body go limp.

He was about to black out when he heard footsteps approaching him. He tried to curl into a ball; what if it was his attacker, coming back to finish him off? He whimpered and opened his eyes slowly, trying to make out the person crouched in front of him.

"What the hell happened to you?" a low voice grumbled. He could make out vague features of a male, probably older than him due to the voice.

John felt himself being lifted up. His blurry vision faded to black, and he let the darkness wash over him.

* * *

When John woke up, he was lying in a bed. Bright rays of light streamed in through the window. Panic entered his mind and he tried to sit up, resulting in his side aching in pain. With a whimper, he laid back down, pulling the blanket over him even more. He assumed he was in the same bed of the stranger who had saved him. After a little while, he slowly got out of bed. He was wearing the same pants as before but he was shirtless. The guy had probably taken off his shirt so he could stitch him up. His glasses were on the bedside table, so he slowly put them on, glad that his savior had cleaned them

He bit his lip as he slowly walked out into the hallway, looking around warily. He crept down the stairs and smelled waffles. He poked his head around the corner to find an angry looking troll sitting at the table. He looked 17 or 18, and had nubby horns. He had messy black hair and yellow eyes that were focused on John's face. With a yelp, he quickly retreated around the corner, his frail body quivering. Just because the troll had saved him didn't mean he trusted him.

"I'm not going to bite, fuckass." The troll called out with an annoyed sigh. John heard the scrape of the chair on the floor and soon his savior was standing in front of him, looking down and scowling.

"What's your name?" he snapped in irritation. John didn't know what he had done to upset him.

"John." He said after a short pause.

"The name's Karkat. If you're hungry I suggest you come to the kitchen." With that, Karkat turned on his heel and swiftly went back to his seat. Baffled for a second, he slowly followed the troll, not sitting at the table but looking around. The kitchen was small compared to most houses, but to John, it was like a mansion. He saw a plate of waffles on the table, probably frozen and heated up in the oven, but he didn't care. His friend Rose, who worked at a diner and usually gave him food, had been on vacation for a week, so he hadn't eaten for a while.

He sat down at the opposite end from Karkat and began to eat. Within minutes, all six waffles were done, along with the syrup.

"Do you ever get fed at home?" the troll snorted, rolling his eyes as he ate own waffles slowly.

"I don't have a home." John said quietly, diverting his gaze to the table and tracing light patterns on the marred wood.

This shut Karkat up for about two seconds.

"Why not? You had parents, I'm sure." He replied once he had recovered, sipping his coffee and looking at the blue-eyed boy.

"I had a dad. But he disowned me when I was 13."

He said softly, his stomach beginning to hurt because he had eaten so fast.

"Why?" Karkat asked bluntly, and John flinched.

"I don't think that's any of your business." He replied, trying to keep calm.

Karkat just shrugged, casting him a look. John felt self-conscious without a shirt and was about to ask where it was when the troll suddenly questioned, "How old are you?"

"16." He answered, a little taken aback by the question. "Are you 18?" he asked back, and surprise flitted across Karkat's face. He gave a small nod of confirmation. John smiled, happy he had guessed correctly.

"Well, thanks for saving me and giving me breakfast, but I should leave now." he slowly started for the door.

"Where the hell do you think you're going?" the troll snapped, and suddenly John was yanked back into the kitchen. He winced as his stomach gave a lurch of pain. He twisted out of Karkat's grasp and ran for the sink, where all six waffles came back up.

"Dumbass, you're staying here until you're better." He growled at John, who nodded weakly, swaying. He sighed and picked up the younger boy, putting him on the couch and covering him with a blanket.

"I don't want to be a burden." John told him as he looked up into glowing yellow eyes.

"Shut up and sleep, John." Karkat's voice held certain softness to it as he stared down at the boy with a scowl.

John still didn't trust Karkat, but instinct told him to get some rest, so he relaxed and closed his eyes, drifting off to sleep.

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**So, should I continue this? I have big plans for it if anyone likes it.**

**Please review!  
~samx**


	2. Chapter 2

**New chapter! Thanks so much for all the reviews :***

**So for this certain fanfic, my headcanon is that while John has quick reflexes from street fights and defending himself, he is also quick to flinch back or recoil at anything that seems to threaten him. Idk. That's just me.**

**Read on~**

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When John woke up he was in the bed again. He sighed and started to get to his feet as the urge to throw up overwhelmed him. He ran for the bathroom and emptied his stomach in the toilet before rinsing his mouth. He saw a note lying on the bedside table near his glasses, and put them on before reading the words.

'Egbert, I'm going out for a while. Take a damn shower. I put out some clothes for you and you can eat anything in the fridge as long as you don't make a f*cking mess. I'll be back soon, and don't burn down the damn house!'

John smiled to himself as he went into the bathroom. The last shower he had taken was at Rose's house, and that was a quick, two second shower. He gave a soft sigh as he closed the door and stripped down, turning on the nozzle. When the water was warm he stepped inside.

After he had come out from the bathroom, towel around his waist, he changed into the oversized black shirt and shorts, smiling a bit at how funny he looked in the large shirt. Humming to himself, he put his clothes in the hamper and went downstairs after fetching his glasses. He rooted around in the fridge and pantry for some time until he deiced on making a sandwich. After he ate, he realized it was getting late. He should probably leave now. He started to slip out the door and was promptly pushed back by a glaring Karkat.

"Where the hell do you think you're going?" He snapped angrily, grabbed John's wrist and pulling him into the house. He muttered a curse a he dragged the boy after him, slamming the door and locking it. John swallowed hard as he looked up into angry yellow eyes.

"Sorry." He squeaked out, chewing on his bottom lip nervously. If Karkat was going to hit him or yell at him he might as well get over it instead of torturing John with the implication of it.

Karkat saw he was scaring the other, and he sighed, shoulders slumping. "Where were you going?" He asked, a hint of irritation in his voice.

"Away. You've cared for me for almost a full day. I can't stay longer than that." John said softly. The troll's eyes narrowed.

"Yes you can and you will. You're in no shape to be running around like some homeless person."  
"I _am_ some homeless person." He shot back with a frown.

"God dammit, Egbert! Stop being so stubborn or god help me, I will chain you to the bed so you don't leave!" Karkat yelled. John winced and mumbled out a, "OK."

Immediately regretting his raised voice, Karkat pinched the bridge of his nose and responded in a much calmer tone, "Look, John. I don't mean to yell at you, but you're my responsibility until you are better. You're sick and your side is stitched up. You need proper rest, so you're staying here. Got it?" he said firmly, but not in a mean tone.

John sighed softly as he looked up at him but nodded. Karkat's lips twitched into the barest hint of a smile as he studied the oversized shirt on him. He didn't realize John was so skinny.

"So…" John hummed as he looked around.

"I'll be going out again, with my friends." The troll told him, and the ebony's face fell.

Oh god how Karkat hated seeing those sad blue eyes. His mind whirled to find a solution before finally coming up with one conclusion.  
"I guess you could come with me if you wanted to." He offered with a small sigh. John nodded, a smile stretching across his face. Karkat huffed and turned away, but smiled a little anyways. The boy's smile was too contagious.

"So now what?" he questioned the troll. Karkat shrugged and went to hang his jacket up. John followed him like some lost puppy.

"Alright, Egbert, you need some medicine." He went over to the drawer and pulled out a bunch of bottles. There were a bunch of pills too, and the troll growled as he tried to sort them out.

Stifling a laugh, John walked over and helped pick out a bottle of pills for stomach problems and one for painkillers. His side really did hurt. He downed the pills along with a water glass and sighed. He'd have to wait until later for the effects to really kick in.

"So when are we leaving? Also, can I have a different shirt?" He asked Karkat. He just went over to the coat closet and pulled out a hoodie. He tossed it at the ebony.

"Just throw this on. It's cold outside anyways. And let's leave in ten minutes. Give me time." Karkat instructed. John nodded and pulled it on. The troll went upstairs, and John sat on the couch waiting for him. Once he came down, the two got into the car and Karkat starting driving.

His phone rang after a few seconds, and he told John, "Pick it up." His hands were gripping the steering wheel tightly and his nervous eyes were focused on the road.

John did as told, and a hoarse voice said, "Karbro?"

"Put it on speaker." The troll instructed, and he did as told once more.

"Gamzee, I'm f*cking driving! What the hell do you want?" He snapped angrily.

"Sorry, bro. 'M just wondering where we're meeting." Gamzee, which was the name of Karkat's friend, slurred. He then laughed and the phone call was dropped. Karkat's eye twitched before he huffed and muttered, "Stupid stoner clown."

John stifled a giggle, shrinking down in his seat with a small grin when a glare was thrown in his direction.

They were driving to the beach, the blue-eyed teen realized after a while. Once Karkat parked, both hopped out and the taller of the two led John over to a group of trolls who were either sitting or standing around a bonfire.

"Assholes, this is John." Karkat introduced loudly, and suddenly there were a dozen set of eyes on John. Not liking the attention, he gave a nervous smile and said, "Hi!"

"Thup. I'm Tholluth." A troll with blue and red glasses looked at John curiously before bumping his shoulder against Karkat's.

"He means Sollux. Idiot can't even say his name right." John's savior teased. John decided the two were close friends.

"Hi there mew friend!" A small troll with cat ears and a cattail nearly jumped on John, who quickly moved back. She hit the sand with a soft 'oof' before standing up and giggling.

"This is Nepeta. And that's Terezi." Karkat pointed to a female troll with pointy red glasses who was trying to lick the cheek of some blonde guy, human, who was standing with his back to everyone. Karkat didn't introduce the mysterious blonde, so John turned to the next person: a really strong looking and tall troll with cracked shades, who didn't bother even looking at John.

"Uh, h-hi." A shy, wheelchair-bound troll with a Mohawk smiled shyly and waved to the ebony, who smiled widely at him.

"Where's your boyfriend?" Karkat asked Sollux, who shrugged. "ED had other planth tonight."

"Oh, and this douche bag is Dave."

John froze up at the name, but it was just a coincidence, right?

He turned to stare into shades, and the very familiar face of his ex best friend.

"Su—John…" Dave's eyes widened behind shades.

John could only stare at the face of the person that had deserted him when he needed him the most.

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**Please review guys!**

**~samx**


	3. Chapter 3

**New chapter, yay! Thanks for all the reviews guys :***

**Read on~**

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"D-Dave?" John's jaw dropped as he stared. Karkat looked between the two.

"You know each other?" His frown deepened when he noticed John was pale and on the verge of tears.

"Long time, not see, huh?" The blonde laughed uneasily, and the ebony dug his nails into his palm to keep himself from bursting into tears on the spot.

The pain that had been hidden for so many years was rising. And the bitterness left a bad taste in John's mouth. He could remember exactly how Dave rejected him. he had been crying when he ran up to the Strider's door. He fully expected his best friend to welcome him in with open arms. The last he expected was a 'sorry' with a hint of an apology and a door in his face.

"John? John, are you ok?" Dave's face was a mask of concern as he reached out for his ex friend, but John immediately pulled back, shaking his head slowly.

"Are you still upset with me about that? It's been years. I told you I'm sorry." He sighed, running a hand through his blonde hair. John rubbed at his eyes furiously.

"You abandoned me! You were my only friend and you—" He broke off and quickly looked down. The raw pain hit him hard, and the first few tears dripped down. Karkat flipped off the other trolls, which was a signal for them to stay away, and leveled his gaze at Dave.

"What did you do, Strider?" He growled. He didn't know why, but he was starting to hate Dave even more than he usually did. He reached out for John, and the small boy dissolved into tears, clutching onto him tightly.

The troll's glare intensified, and he wrapped his arms around the shaking teen. Dave's face was a mask of pain and regret. He touched John's shoulder, and the boy flinched away, giving a small wail.

"Don't touch him." Karkat snapped. He led John back to the car and told him to wait before going back to the confused trolls and a now pissed off Dave.

"Listen up. I have to go because of John, but we can meet next week or something. And you—" he narrowed his eyes at Dave, "Stay away from him. I don't know what you did, but clearly he is still upset over it. So don't come near him."  
Karkat turned and went back to the car. The drive home was silent except for John's sniffling and an occasional whimper. As soon as they got home. John sat on the couch and buried his face in a cushion. The troll sighed; he had no idea how to make the boy feel better. He didn't even know when he started caring. He went upstairs and tried to think of comforting things.

* * *

John couldn't stop crying. Dave thought he was just going to be forgiven, right off the bat, in a second, just like that? John wouldn't have been homeless, lonely, and heartbroken if the blonde had just accepted him.

He sobbed into the cushion, wishing the earth would just swallow him right now. Karkat was upstairs, probably trying to ignore him. He sniffled and looked up when he felt a tap on the shoulder.

Karkat was standing there, looking flustered. He was holding a stack of movies and what looked to be like chocolates. John stared at him in confusion.

"Well, you were upset so I didn't know how to make you feel better—I mean stop crying like a wriggler—so here." He gave him the movies and chocolates.

John stared at him for a while longer before jumping up and flinging himself at the troll in a tight hug. He was crying, so Karkat thought he had done something wrong, but when he saw the smile on the ebony's face, he relaxed and smiled a little.

~x~

Karkat sighed and smiled down at the sleeping teen. They had watched three movies and John had finished the chocolates. He had also taught the troll how to make hot chocolate, and the troll had burnt his tongue, much to John's amusement. John was curled up on the couch, his head near Karkat's lap.

He absentmindedly ran his hand through the thick black locks, humming a song from a TV show he had watched a while ago. He sighed and looked at the clock, deciding it was late. He scooped up the teen in his arms and carried him upstairs. John was pretty light which made sense. He was made up of sharp bones and jutting joints, which he supposed wasn't the boy's fault. He tucked the human underneath the sheets and patted down his hair before going to his own room.

Today had been a long day. He sighed as he got into his own bed, sliding underneath the covers as he slowly fell asleep.

A few hours later he heard sobbing, and groaned as he rubbed his eyes. He trudged to the guest room and sat on the edge of the bed. The teen was thrashing around, tears snaking down his face as he whimpered.

Karkat tried to pick the boy up, but John started to scream, so he quickly back tracked on that plan and settled for shaking his arm.

"Egbert, wake up! John, it's just a dream!"

The ebony sat up straight with a gasp, his eyes wide and his breaths quick. Karkat took this opportunity to pull him into a hug. H wasn't good at reassuring words, but when John hugged back and started to cry into his shoulder, he figured maybe he was doing a decent job with this whole interaction thing.

He stayed there for a long time, gently rubbing John's back and waiting until the crying ceased to sniffling, and the ebony finally fell asleep. Karkat tucked him back under the covers and left the room, so exhausted that he could barely walk. As soon as his head hit his pillow, he was out like a light.

* * *

John woke up in the morning with dried tears on his face. He went and used the bathroom, splashing cold water on his face before heading downstairs. It was around noon, and he supposed the troll was still sleeping. He had a vague recollection of having a nightmare and Karkat comforting him. his face flushed as he realized he probably acted like a baby. With a sigh, he made himself a bowl of cereal and sat at the table to eat.

For the next few hours, he watched TV and waited for Karkat to wake up. He decided to take a walk and threw on a jacket, which smelled like Karkat—sweet and spicy. He blushed at what he was thinking as he strolled around in the park. When he came back, he was surprised to see a panicking Karkat running all around the house. When their gazes met, John knew he was in trouble.

"Egbert! You dumbass, where the hell did you go?!" He yelled, and John opened his mouth to stammer out a reply, but the troll wasn't done.

"You can't just take a stroll without telling me, god dammit!" His voice increased in volume until something hit John.

"Wait…you were worried about me?" He asked in disbelief. Karkat's face flamed and he snarled, "No! I—" he couldn't find a suitable lie, so he huffed and stomped away.

John laughed and caught him from behind in a big hug.

"Aw, don't worry beep beep meow! I think it's sweet~!"

"What did you call me?" the troll's eye twitched as the ebony gave giggle.

"Beep beep for 'Kar' and meow for 'kat." He explained in amusement.

"Egbert, you better f*cking run!"

The rest of the morning was spent with the two chasing each other around the house. Screams of laughter (from John) and yells of anger (from Karkat) could be heard from any of the surrounding houses.

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**I think this is a decent chapter. Oh, and if you think the drama with Dave is over, you're highly mistaken. Just wait until next chapter! *evil grin***

**Review, maybe?**

**~samx**


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry for the long wait! Also, if you like Johnkat, read Inner Demons! It's on my page!**

**Read on~**

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When the two had finally calmed down, Karkat had told John they needed to go get some clothes that would actually fit him. John protested greatly at this, saying he would refuse to let the troll buy him anything, but with one glare he had shut up.

Now they were on their way to the mall, John humming along to the song on the radio and Karkat staring out the window. He kept glancing at the troll from time to time. Karkat noticed these little looks, and tried his best not to smile. John hopped out once they got there, smiling like an idiot. It had been years since he had gone to the mall.

"Excited much?" Karkat chuckled softly as he led John through the doors of the entrance. John nodded and bounced a little in happiness as they walked through the mall.

"Ok. Here first." They stopped at a store and went inside.

For the next few hours, John tried on shirts and jeans and pants and sweaters. Mostly everything was too big on him though, so they had to pick some options from the kids section of the store, much to John's embarrassment. With bags on both hands, the two made their way to the food court and sat down.

"You hungry?" Karkat asked, and when John nodded, he passed him a crumpled ten bill.

"Thanks!" John kissed the troll's cheek, dashing off to examine the snack options. Karkat touched his cheek and blushed, a faint smile on his lips. The ebony came back with some fries and two sodas. He was also holding a pack of candy.

"Here!" The smiling teen handed Karkat a soda as he sat back down. The troll accepted it with a small grunt, taking it with a sip. John set down the fries and the candy. He took a few loud sips of his drink before ripping open the candy packet and popping a few gushers into his mouth.

They sat in peaceful, uneventful silence as the fries were devoured and the sodas were drank. Once they finished, the two grabbed the bags and headed for the car. Karkat loaded all the clothes inside.

As they drove home, John finished eating his candy. He stuffed the wrapper in a compartment of the car before looking at Karkat. The troll stopped at a red last and gave him a strange look.

"Thank you." John spoke sincerely and sweetly, his smile grateful. Karkat just nodded, his lips twitching into a small smile in reply.

Once they got home, John helped the troll unload and fold all the clothes, stacking them in the guest room closet. John flopped on the couch soon after that, tired from their shopping day.

Karkat sat next to him, and they watched TV for a while before the troll muted the volume and looked over at him. John glanced at him in confusion.

"Why did your dad kick you out of the house?" He questioned. John tensed up and bit his lip.

"At least tell me what happened between you and Dave." He said after a pause.

"Sorry. Those two questions are related and I can't answer either of them." John replied softly. Karkat frowned and opened his mouth to talk but the doorbell rang.

"I'll get it!" John said cheerfully before getting up and opening the door. Standing there was a pissed off Dave, but once he saw the ebony, his upset expression melted off and changed into one of regret.

Without thinking, John slammed the door, and then went back to the couch where Karkat was sitting up straight, frowning.

"Who was that and why the hell did you just slam it shut?" He asked, crossing his arms. But once he saw John's pale face and expression, the troll realized it had probably been Dave.

He patted John's head and then got up, going over to the door. Dave crossed his arms once he saw him. Karkat stepped outside, closing the door behind him.

"What do you want, Strider?" He snapped, glaring slightly at the other teen.

"I wanted to know if you knew where John was, but that question has already been answered." The blonde replied.

"Why?" The troll's glare didn't diminish even a little bit.

"I want to talk to him. I need to apologize properly." He sighed a little, and Karkat huffed.

"What if he doesn't want to talk to you?"  
"Just bring him out." Dave pleaded, and annoyance flickered across Karkat's face, but he went back in to get John. The said boy looked up with anguished blue eyes that tore at the troll's heart.

"Just talk to him, ok? He seems genuine." Karkat said, and John stood up, nodding as he opened the door and slipped outside.

John bit his lip as he stood in front of his best friend—ex best friend, actually. Dave offered a small smile, which the ebony replied to with a blank stare. Sighing, the blond started to speak.

"Look, I know you probably hate me now. I screwed up, and I know that. I should have let you stay with me. I did some bad shit, and I get if you don't forgive me. I just want to make sure you're safe now, ok? John, you're my best bro." This last part was said in such a soft tone that John's lips curved into a smile.

"Ok. I forgive you." He said.

"Really? Aw, you're the best Egderp." Dave picked up the fragile boy and swung him around. Giggling, he clutched onto him, as this was something that they had done years ago.

"Ok, ok. All this mushy girly shit aside, I have to take you out for a night on the town. So, get ready. This Strider is gonna show you what it means to actually live. And get some meat on those bones." He set John down after shaking him slightly.

John rolled his eyes all throughout the blonde's rambling.

"Got it. Lemme tell Karkat." He gave Dave a quick hug before going inside. The troll had already heard the entire conversation, and looked pissed, for some reason.

"Um, can I borrow some clothes?" John couldn't help but smile widely; he was so happy to finally have his best friend back.

Karkat nodded and went upstairs with him to give him an outfit. John slipped on the jeans and the pale red shirt, taking a jacket with him.

"I'll be back tonight!" He leaned forward to kiss Karkat's cheek, and frowned when the troll muttered a, "Yeah, whatever," and moved away to go into the kitchen.

Shrugging it off, John bounded outside to meet Dave.

* * *

**So for those of you who think John forgave Dave too easily, remember they used to be best friends, and John is virtually alone at this point, so of course he'd take Dave back.**

**Of course, that idiot blonde will screw up in later chapters x3**

**Review maybe?**

**~samx**


	5. Chapter 5

**New chapter, yay.**

**Also, search my user on Archive of our Own. I have a fanfic on there that isn't on this site.**

**Sorry for any mistakes lovelies!**

**Read on~**

* * *

John was pretty impressed with Dave's car. He didn't want to be mean, but compared to Karkat's Toyota Van, Dave's sleek red BMW was strikingly perfect. He grinned at his friend, who wiggled his eyebrows, getting into the car.

"Get in, loser, we're going blogging."

"Dave, did you just make a Mean Girls reference?"

"It was for irony, my dear Egderp."

John rolled his eyes as he got into the car as well. As soon as he was buckled in, Dave shot down the street and turned sharply around the corner. He was 18, which meant he was legally allowed to drive, but that didn't mean the blonde was a good driver. John hung on for dear life as they raced downtown.

When they finally stopped, it had been about half an hour. John looked out the window; the sun was about to set and it was a pretty sight. He jumped out when Dave unlocked the doors.

"So where are we going?" The ebony questioned as he turned to his friend. Dave simply grabbed his hand, making John blush, and led him over to a building. John looked up at the sign above the entrance.

"We're going clubbing? But we're not of age yet…" The blue-eyed boy trailed off as Dave put a finger to his lips, leading him in through the front. The guy at the front nodded at Dave, cast a look at John, then let them in.

They were greeted by pounding music and flashing lights. The party was already whiled and sunset hadn't even happened yet. John blinked around, the flashing lights making his eyes hurt, but smiled at the atmosphere. He had never done this before, which Dave fully knew.

"C'mon, let's get a drink Egbert." The blonde headed for the bar on one side of the large space, and John was quick to follow after him.

The two of them pushed past the drunk crowd blocking the bar and sat at the stools under the counter.

"A Candy Corn and a Waterfall." Dave ordered, and the bartender whipped up the drinks and put them in front of the teens. John hesitantly sipped at his, nearly choking at the hot liquid traveling down his throat, then relaxed as he tasted the spicy aftertaste.

Dave smirked at his reaction, downing his shot in a minute. The younger teen took his time to slowly drink his, smiling when he finished it.

"That wasn't so bad. I want another though." John felt a little dizzy and giggled happily when another drink was placed in front of him. He downed that in a minute.

Within a few hours, John had drank so many shots and even chugged a few bottles of beer that he was completely wasted. Dave had only taken a few before going off to find some friend of his, not realizing how much trouble his friend was in.

By the time the blonde located John, the ebony was busy talking to another guy just as wasted as him, practically on the guy's lap. Dave quickly pulled his friend out of there and out the back entrance, back to the car. He took a good luck at John and swore.

John was sweating quite a lot and his face was permanently flushed a bright pink. He was giggling uncontrollably and drooling a little bit. His shirt had been ripped so his shoulder and half his chest was revealed.

Dave loaded up John into the car and drove back to Karkat's as quickly as possible. He would have let John spend the night at his place, but his brother and his boyfriend were over, and the walls weren't sound proof at all.

He scooped up the ebony bridal style and carried him to the house, knocking on the troll's door. Karkat opened, eyes widening when he saw the state John was in. he let Dave inside, and the blonde carefully deposited his friend onto the couch, who rolled over, asleep.

"What the f*ck did you do to him?!" Karkat kept his voice low as to not wake up John. Dave looked guilty for a half second, before shrugging.

"Took him out to a club." He said casually. The troll's face flamed red in anger.

"How dense are you, you miserable representation of the human race! John isn't even 18 yet, yet alone 21, you nookwhiff!" Karkat whisper-shouted, his voice trembling in anger.

"And why was his shirt ripped? Don't tell me—" Karkat ranted on and was interrupted.

"Geez, Vantas, calm your pants. Nothing happened to him. I looked away for a second, and the next thing I know Egbert's chugging beer." He sighed. He himself was a little tipsy, but barely anything compared to John.

"YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR HIM YET YOU GO AND LET HIM GET WASTED. LET'S GIVE A GOLD STAR TO THE BEST FRIEND IN THE WHOLE ENTIRE WORLD, DAVE F*CKING STRIDER, WHO'S TOTALLY NOT AN ARROGANT PIECE OF SHIT."

Through Karkat's ranting, Dave rolled his eyes behind his shades and tried to tune him out. The troll was completely overreacting, thought a little too much…

Dave looked down at John, who was starting to stir, and nuzzled his forehead. The boy relaxed and fell into a deeper sleep. The blonde glanced at Karkat, who looked ready to kill.

"I know I should have kept an eye on him. now it's your turn, unless you want me to stay here and—"

"NO! Get out, Strider, you've caused enough trouble." Karkat pushed the cool kid out the door and slammed it shut before locking it. He went over to John and sat near him, stroking the soft black hair. Was all human hair this soft and fluffy?

John hummed softly, nuzzling Karkat's palm when his hand touched his cheek. The troll chuckled softly, brushing a stray piece of hair away from John's peacefully sleeping face. Karkat couldn't help it; he leaned down and brushed a kiss to John's forehead, then his nose, then both his cheeks. He then leaned in, aiming for John's lips.

He was an inch away from kissing John on the mouth when blue eyes stared into his own. John was awake.

* * *

**Well, you all know I'm famous for my cliff hangers x3**

**Also, I know someone will say Karkat's feelings are developing too fast. Well, you'll see next chapter how I plan to sloooowwwwww things down.**

**Review maybe? Also, when I said that Dave would screw up, this isn't it. Oh no. *evil laugh* This isn't it at all!**

**~samx**


	6. Chapter 6

**Sorry this is short and kinda boring!**

**Read on~**

* * *

Karkat nearly swore as he quickly pulled back. The boy blinked up at him, then pouted, giggling uncontrollably.

"Were you gonna kiss meeeee?" He asked drowsily, sitting up. The troll looked relieved upon realizing Jon was still drunk and probably (hopefully) wouldn't remember any of this in the morning.

"John, you need to sleep." Karkat said sternly, and picked up the boy, avoiding the question. He flailed in the older male's arms, squirming and whining and demanding to be put down.

He carried the boy upstairs and put him in the bed. All while he was doing this, John kept rambling on and on and on. Karkat tuned out most of his words, but when the boy mentioned his name, started to listen.

"And I really like Karkat not like but like like but I don't want to tell him because I'm afraid of how he'll react…and it might just be I dunno me being confused because I am not a homosexual." John yawned and turned onto his side, his rambling slowly fading into soft snoring as he fell asleep.

With a sigh, Karkat sat by him and stroked the soft black locks for a while, just looking at him. He was aware of how creepy it was, but he didn't really care. He did have to watch the boy to make sure he was ok. Stroking his hair was just a comfort for him.

Soon—more like a few hours—Karkat got up and made dinner for the two of them, even though it was pretty late. By making dinner he meant heating up some frozen pizza from the freezer and dumping a slice each on two plates. He put them on the table, and heard noises from upstairs. He hurried up and saw the bed empty and the bathroom door ajar. He walked in and sighed when he saw John bent over the toilet, shaking.

"Hey, it's ok." Karkat kneeled and rubbed the boy's back soothingly. He helped John stand and go to the sink, where he washed out his mouth. The human let go of Karkat and tried to walk but nearly fell. Karkat scooped him up and sat on the edge of the bed.

"You alright?" He hummed softly as he rocked John gently. The boy sniffled and looked up at Karkat with teary eyes.

"I'm sorry." He whispered, the troll looked taken aback for a second. What did John have to apologize for? It was Dave's fault, not his.

"Don't be." The troll stated firmly, and John fell silent, face scrunching up in pain.

"Headache?" Karkat questioned, and when he nodded, set the human down carefully and went to the medicine cabinet to get something for the boy. He came back with a pill and a glass of water, handing both to John. He downed the pill and Karkat took the glass, setting it on the bedside table.

He noticed that the boy's bandages on his side were starting to unravel, so he told John, "Take off your shirt." John did as instructed, and Karkat carefully peeled away the gauze to reveal the bloody wound. He pursed his lips and got some more gauze, wrapping it around the boy's abdomen.

When he was done he put away the remaining gauze, and very quickly placed a soft kiss to the spot where the stab wound was. He straightened up, cheeks flushing a dark color. John's cheeks were pink as well.

"Thanks." He said softly. Karkat grunted in response. "If you want dinner there's some frozen pizza I heated up earlier. I'm going to bed, it's been a long day."

John blinked in surprise as he was left alone. The sudden shift in attitude of the troll caused him to question what had happened.

Had he said something in his drunken state? He remembered saying Karkat's name and his famous 'I am not a homosexual' phrase, but that was it. Maybe Karkat was mad at him for getting drunk. Yeah, that was probably it.

For the rest of the night, John stayed up with a major headache, occasionally running to the bathroom to throw up. He did feel better around 4 am though, and finally fell asleep on the bed in the guest room, well, technically his room.

He woke up to sunlight pouring through the window. He got up, stretching and yawning, before using the bathroom and brushing his teeth. He splashed his face with water and then headed downstairs. He realized his glasses were still in his room and went upstairs to his room to get them. He heard voices coming from Karkat's room, and couldn't help but pause at the door and listen.

"I don't know what to do about him." Karkat was saying. Apparently he was talking on the phone.

"Maybe you should just leave him alone."  
"I just…I hate him so much."

John's heart dropped. Were they…were they talking about him? he continued to listen hard, ear pressed against the door.

"He's practically living with you now. You can't do much about it."

"I know. Look, I should go and make breakfast."

"Alright."

John bolted down the stairs and took a seat at the table, heart pounding and blood rushing through his body. So Karkat hated him. he bit his lip hard until he drew blood, barely noticing the metallic taste or anything around him, until he realized Karkat was staring down at him in worry.

"John, what's wrong?" He asked once the ebony had snapped out of it.

"Oh, nothing." John forced a smile as he opened the pantry.

* * *

**This is why this chapter is important. Because of what John thinks Karkat feels for him.**

**Review maybe?**

**~samx**


	7. Chapter 7

**SORRY FOR THE WAIT UGHHH. There's some Erisol, but not much.**

**Read on~**

* * *

After breakfast, Dave was over again. He apologized to John by taking him out to the movies and then lunch. Karkat, of course, was not invited. He gritted his teeth as the two walked out, wanting to beat the shit out of Strider so badly.

He calmed down when Sollux shot him a text, asking if he wanted to come to lunch with Eridan and him. The mutant blood agreed and got ready before the two picked him up.

"Hey." He nodded at Eridan and waved at Sollux as he got into the car twenty minutes later, not in the mood for talking. The whole car drive there, he listened to the couple talk and chat about idle things.

Once they reached there, he hopped out along with the couple, and entered the café, they got a table, and everyone sat in awkward silence until Eridan started to talk.

"So, I heard that you'v-ve taken in a resident?" Eridan questioned after a pause. Karkat just grunted and shrugged, looking down.

"KK…you like him, don't you?" The dual eyed troll asked, and the mutant blood flushed deep red and spluttered, "How the actual f*ck do you know that?!"  
Sollux just smirked. "It was a hunch, and you proved it." Karkat started to angrily rant as the waitress came up to them, taking their drink orders and then leaving.

"W-why do you like him? I thought you liked Terezi." The purple-blooded troll looked at Karkat for an explanation.

"I just…I can't explain without sounding like I'm in a cliché rom-com." He huffed, crossing his arms. Sollux and Eridan snickered and nudged each other. They all ordered their food and waited for it to come.

Sighing, Karkat confessed how jealous he had been of Dave, who he had been talking to Gamzee about earlier this morning. Sollux offered words of sympathy and Eridan offered creepy ways to woo John.

He thanked the two with a roll of his eyes and a slight smile. He knew his friends were trying to help, they just didn't really know how, which was fine. Karkat himself didn't know. They got off the topic of his love life when the food came, and just made small talk for the rest of the time.

The couple dropped Karkat back home, who was surprised to find John in the kitchen, making what seemed to be a cake. He frowned when he noticed there were tears streaming down the boy's face. He immediately thought Strider had said something to him, and rushed over.

"John..?"

upon hearing his name, the teen jumped, hastily dropping the wooden spoon he had been holding and hastily wiped at his tears as he turned around, smiling weakly at the troll.

"H-h-h-hi—" He tried to say, before bursting into tears. Pulling him into a hug, Karkat let the boy wet his shirt with tears as he rubbed his back, highly concerned and worried now.

"I'm s-s-s—" John started to choke out, and Karkat shushed him, gently kissing his head and holding the boy close.

He sniffled and pulled back after a while, eyes puffy and face tear stained. He sat at the table without another word, and Karkat sat across from him. After a while, he decided he needed to know what had happened.

"John, what happened? Did Strider say something?"

* * *

Tears welled in his eyes as he recalled the previous events…

_They had been walking around for hours. Dave had bought John ice cream and gushers and movies._

_They walked down the street as the blonde pointed out various shops and cool places to hang out. He then got a text. John looked over as his friend's face paled considerably._

"_What's wrong?" The younger teen questioned, putting his bag off stuff on his other hand, and Dave sighed, walking over to a bench and pulling down._

"_We need to talk." The blonde bit his lip, and actually looked worried, which made John himself worried._

"_It's about your dad…" _

"_What about him?"_

_"John, he…he's dead. He's been dead for a year."_

_John froze up, his eyes going wide and watery. he couldn't believe it. Even though his dad had kicked him out, he was still his dad. His throat closed up as he turned to his best friend with agonizing blue eyes._

"_Why didn't you tell me, Dave?" He whispered, and the blonde winced._

"_Why didn't you tell me!" _

_He got up, and ran. Dave followed him, but the wind seemed to pick the ebony up as he ran, heading back to Karkat's house. That's why he had been making a cake, in honor of his dad._

_And then Karkat had come back, and here they were._

John had started to cry again, and the troll looked alarmed as he wrapped an arm around the boy and hugging him. He basically climbed into Karkat's lap. His face went red but he allowed it, wrapping his arms around John's waist and rocking him back and forth.

"M-my dad's been d-dead for a year and Dave j-just told me!" He managed to say in between sobs and hiccups. The troll's eyes widened and he held the boy closer.

"I'm so sorry. I'm going to kill that asshole, I swear." He growled as John cried into his chest. He petted the soft black hair until the boy's cries had ceased, then watched as John got up, kissing the troll's cheek and muttering a thanks. He went back to the kitchen to finish the cake.

When it was done, he let Karkat help frost and decorate the cake. Neither of them was hungry, so the mutant blood put the cake carefully in the fridge to eat for later.

John went to take a nap, and Karkat decided he needed to talk to Dave. He sent him a text to meet him at the beach, then got into the car and drove over.

* * *

**ATTENTION: remember how I said Dave would screw up horribly? This isn't it. He'll do something even worse to John in a few chapters, you'll see!**

**review maybe?**

**~samx**


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